


partial chapter for comments please

by Jotun_in_my_mind



Category: Marvel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 08:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jotun_in_my_mind/pseuds/Jotun_in_my_mind
Summary: Hi to all the readers out there.  I have been struggling with the point of view in a new story and will post below two copies of the same story excerpt, one in the first person POV and the other as seen by a narrator.  I would very much appreciate comments on which version to pursue as I have done over 90 pages so far and want to make sure I decide on a POV before I go much further.  I can easily change and update the story so far to the alternative POV if everyone likes one more than the other.  Comments and suggestions please.





	partial chapter for comments please

first-person POV  
Every muscle in your legs burned and screamed with fatigue as you trudged along wearily, your head bowed in near defeat. It was several hours since you last raised your eyes to look despairingly ahead at the still endless expanse of snow still to be crossed. The exhaustion and cold that settled over you and threatened to smother the life out of you was easier to endure if you concentrated on each footstep, each small movement, without being overwhelmed by the larger reality of your circumstances. That being said, you were immensely grateful for the pathway forged through the densely packed snow by the grimly silent line of giants who walked purposefully in front of you. Travelling any distance through these drifts would have been impossible without the largest members of the party forging the way, using their strength and bulk to shove through the frigid natural barrier for endless hours. The thick white mass reached up to your waist, but for the tallest of the Jotun barely reached above their knees. It crossed your mind that the smaller warriors would have experienced difficulty in forging through the drifts without their larger counterparts leading the way, and you felt slightly less useless. Head bowed forwards and concentrating hard on each step to minimise the frequency of your falls into the churned frozen mud, you walked robotically, taking one step after another without paying any attention to how many hours you had been on your feet. A small laugh huffed between your chattering teeth as you observed the apparent temperature disparity between your legs and your feet. Though your exhausted legs felt like they were being consumed by flames as lactic acid flooded your over-exerted muscles, both feet ached deeply with cold that managed to seep through every layer of footwear and made the marrow in your bones throb painfully. 

...................................  
alternative narrator version character name is pronounced 'Sarrlee'  
Every muscle in Sarlli’s legs burned and screamed with fatigue as she trudged along wearily, her head bowed in near defeat. It was several hours since she had last raised her eyes to look despairingly ahead at the still endless expanse of snow still to be crossed. The exhaustion and cold that settled over her and threatened to smother the life out of her was easier to endure if she concentrated on each footstep, each small movement, without being overwhelmed by the larger reality of her circumstances. That being said, she was immensely grateful for the pathway forged through the densely packed snow by the grimly silent line of giants who walked purposefully in front of her. Travelling any distance through these drifts would have been impossible without the largest members of the party forging the way, using their strength and bulk to shove through the frigid natural barrier for endless hours. The thick white mass reached up to Sarlli’s waist, but for the tallest of the Jotun barely reached above their knees. It crossed her mind that the smaller warriors would have experienced difficulty in forging through the drifts without their larger counterparts leading the way, and she felt slightly less useless. Head bowed forwards and concentrating hard on each step to minimise the frequency of her falls into the churned, frozen mud, Sarlli walked robotically, taking one step after another without paying any attention to how many hours she had been on her feet. A small laugh huffed between her chattering teeth as she observed the apparent temperature disparity between her legs and her feet. Though her exhausted legs felt like they were being consumed by flames as lactic acid flooded the over-exerted muscles, both feet ached deeply with cold that managed to seep through every layer of footwear and made the marrow in Sarlli’s bones throb painfully.


End file.
